Status Update

Put Down the Phone

It’s Friday night and you are watching a movie with your friends. You’re all exhausted from the long workweek, and grateful that you have a chance to sit and relax. Everyone is engrossed in the film and its characters. Gasps arise at every twist in the plot and laughs blossom at each joke. You’re all swapping the week’s stories. Everyone seems to be happy.

Then, the unthinkable happens.

Your friend’s face glows from a LED screen, radiating in the dark room. All eyes move over to her, distracted by her behavior and the annoying shadows on the wall. An important scene in the movie’s structure is disregarded, and worries of boredom pass through each guest’s mind. The conversations halt. Awkward silence sinks in. 

In our modern world, it feels impossible to find a place without cellphones. A report recently showed that, “...people check their phones 150 times a day.” and “...people check their phones an average of 23 times a day for messaging, 22 times for a voice call and 18 times to get the time.” (ABC News). Phones are great for connecting with those far away and they are a lot of fun. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are available at the click of a smartphone button. “According to a 2012 survey by the Pew Research Center, 46% of all American adults now own a smartphone -- up a whopping 25% from 2011.” (webmd.com). When phones were first created, they were used solely for making calls. As technology improved, they now provide endless communication over various platforms and hours of entertainment.

But, people are forgetting what it is like to be around the company of other human beings. Almost every time I invite friends over, one of them sits alone on her phone, completely isolated from the rest of us. My friends complain about this constantly; everyone has suffered from the void of a friend who is more interested in her phone than the current surroundings.

The cell phone obsession is a sign of lost communication skills. Instead of having a face-to-face conversation, people send emojis and abbreviations for words that are too long to type. Tone and emotion cannot be conveyed through a text message. Only the words appear, not the sender’s countenance. One side of the conversation may be happy and light-hearted, and the other may be dark and angry. There is no replacement for a live conversation. “Whether you are dating someone, interviewing someone, or just meeting someone for the first time, there is a special quality about face-to-face interactions. You can catch the subtle tone in their voice, see their expression as it changes from sad to outraged, and you can look them in the eye to see if you trust them.” (PBS).

Many people are braver on the internet or through text messages; they can say whatever they want, and do not have to use eye contact or see the expression of whoever is reading what they wrote. Therefore, people lack necessary communication skills. They do not know how to talk to someone without hurting her feelings. So, when a group of friends gets together and one individual separates herself from the crowd to sit alone with a cell phone, she does not realize that what she is doing is rude. She is oblivious to the fact that the friends around her feel upset and rejected.

But, why? Why can’t people put down their phones when they are around friends?

The temptation is too great. If people have the opportunity to talk to all their friends at once, why wouldn’t they? With texting, someone can be in the same room as his or her friends, but be texting with another that is on vacation far away. And, Facebook and Twitter are even farther removed. Why spend the time to go see and personally visit each and every one of your friends when you could alert all of them of what is going on in your life with a simple status update or Tweet? Lisa Merlo, who is an assistant professor of psychiatry in the University of Florida’s College of Medicine said, “(It’s) this need to be connected, to know what’s going on and be available to other people. That’s one of the hallmarks of cell phone addiction.” (news.ufl.edu).

Yes, it is an addiction and a cause of vanishing communication skills. Yes, I use Facebook. Yes, it helps me keep in touch with those that are far away. But, there is a time and place for everything. I use Facebook and Instagram when I have downtime and am not with friends. When I am with my friends, I put my attention on them, not my phone or my far away pals.

The host will most certainly notice if one of his or her guest’s is more preoccupied with a cell phone than the planned activities. I know I do! This will result in second-guessing about the friendship and the worry of throwing a “boring” get together. Any host will feel hurt, believing that she is not entertaining enough.

If we do not change this obsessive and dangerous behavior, we are going to suffer in the long-run. If we are already seeing traces of lost communication, how will our world look in ten years? Twenty? Thirty? People do not know how to talk face to face and introduce themselves to someone new. Think about it. When people are waiting alone in the doctor’s office or airport, they hunch over their phones, removed from everything around them. In the past, people would turn around and introduce themselves to everyone else in the room. Now, we are all overcome with shyness and don’t know how to make a proper introduction of ourselves. Mark Glaser, a journalist for PBS said, “So it’s unfortunate that real-life interactions are on the outs as cell phone conversations, texting, instant messaging and Facebook emails start to take up more of our time. For young people especially, having a cell phone or iPod in hand and at the ready is the default mode while walking the streets. That means much less chance of conversation with the people who populate their real lives.” (PBS). Communication skills are becoming extinct. Our cell phones are controlling our lives and pulling us away from live people. We know how to talk to artificial intelligence, but we can’t talk to another real individual. How can we live without working with others? If we do not change, our country’s success is at risk.

The damage has been done, but we are not completely doomed. What can we do to change? Put down the phone.

Works Cited

"Addicted to Phones? Cell Phone Use Becoming a Major Problem for Some, Expert Says." University of Florida. University of Florida, 18 Jan. 2007. Web. 02 Apr. 2014.

Davis, Susan. "Smartphone Addiction: Managing Your Phone Usage Time."WebMD. WebMD, Web. 29 Mar. 2014.

Glaser, Mark. "How Cell Phones Are Killing Face-to-Face Interactions." PBS. PBS, 22 Oct. 2007. Web. 30 Mar. 2014.

Stern, Joanna. "Cellphone Users Check Phones 150x/Day and Other Internet Fun Facts."ABC News. ABC News Network, 29 May 2013. Web. 18 Mar. 2014.