March 14: Service Request for Wilson K

I purchased my AIGhostwriter® memoir yesterday and was impressed by the ease of the Insertion-Free Memory Download®, the My Voice Quality® accuracy and the instant delivery of My Father’s Dead: At Last! (Even before my brother finished the obit!) However, I chose all the default settings since I needed to get the memoir out before Fred (who thinks he’s the writer in the family) writes his. I assumed the default Fact to Fiction continuum setting was to Fact. Can I get a revised memoir with it reset to Full Fact?

March 15: Service Request for Wilson K

I am mostly pleased with my new Full Fact AIGhostwriter® memoir, but my family has pointed out many things that I misremembered at the time of the Memory Download®. My sister Fran is especially upset that I forgot her dog Nibbles died and I called her daughter Caroline instead of Carolyn. (Fred, of course, thinks it’s funny.) I know the book’s disclaimer says, “This memoir may contain errors but is as true as the memories of the ‘writer’ at the time of memory download,” but can I get a full revision with the attached list of corrections without upgrading to AIGhostwriter® Platinum?

March 17: Service Request for Wilson K

I recently upgraded to AIGhostwriter® Platinum and love the Instant Memory Corrections®, but my brother Fred is making fun of me for always portraying myself as the victim. Can I get a reset of the Victim/Hero continuum to midway? Can I also reset Angry/Funny to 75% Funny and Literary/Conversational to 60% Literary? Thanks.

March 19: Service Request for Wilson K

Now that Fred’s memoir is out, I realize I should not have commissioned my memoir moments after my father’s death. Do I need to upgrade to AIGhostwriter® Platinum+ to get a new Memory Download® and narrow the parameter of the memoir to the last year of my father’s life with Memory Flashbacks®? (I wasn’t aware of that feature until I saw Fred’s memoir.)

March 20: Service Request for Wilson K

Please activate the Remove Embarrassing Sex Scenes Including with Self® Feature before I kill my brother. And reset Tell All to 25%. I should have read the manuscript before hitting Publish. Also remove the words “small” and “teeny weeny” from the manuscript except when referring to Fred. And remove all mentions of Fran’s drinking so she will talk to me again. (While you’re at it, cut my drinking by 50%.)

March 21: Service Request for Wilson K

Please reset the Lionize/Demonize Father to 65% Lionize and add the attached scenes from Fran’s memoir of my father defending me and listing my good qualities. Please change the title to Requiem for a Flawed Man and use the Free-One-Time-Only Scrub of All Previous Drafts from the Internet® feature.

March 23: Service Request for Wilson K

Please add “angelic” or a synonym before each mention of Caroline’s name.

March 24: Service Request for Wilson K

Please change the name in the previous request from “Caroline” to “Carolyn.”

March 25: Service Request for Wilson K

Please change the Purpose setting from Revenge to Memorialize, the Audience from Family to Public and remove all mention of Fred.

March 27: Service Request for Wilson K

My mother was recently hospitalized with pneumonia. Is there a deal if I buy more than one memoir?

March 28: Service Request for Wilson K

Please add the attached scene, “Reading of the Will,” and change the memoir title to My Father: My Hero. Reinstate Fred for this scene only (and delete Fran’s tantrum).

March 30: Service Request for Wilson K

Is it too late to upgrade my contract to include Libel Defense® and Civil Suit Insurance®? Please delete Fran from all scenes and add Rescrub from Internet for an Additional Fee®. I have signed over my house as collateral to pay for these new services. (My mother’s health has improved, so please deactivate the pre-draft of No More Wire Hangers!)

June 14: Service Request for Wilson K

Please delete my previous memoir and activate the Go Door to Door to Remove Paper Copies® as delineated in the attached court agreement. Use this new Memory Download® to write Dying Drunk and Alone Like an Irish Playwright. Do not publish before completing Full Review by Attorneys®. Note I have given up my rights to sue or participate in any class action suits against AIGhostwriter® and associates in exchange for the 20% discount.